No, this is not a literary thingy. I just want to tell my story...
I was literally trapped inside the elevator. And I just have to blog this coz ito got me a little bit stressed. haha. But really that's the most stressful 5 minutes of my life. Nah! I'm exaggerating. LOL. I think I've been through something a lot more stressful than that. I am about to go down the grocery to buy a load. I pushed the Ground floor button and it stopped. At least the lights were still on and I think there was a fan above. I knew it was broken again. That darn thing! And my first reaction was: "Diyos ko, anong ginawa ko? Nagsisisi na po ako sa lahat!"
Haha! I am not kidding. That was what I was muttering the first few seconds. And NO, my life didn't flash before my eyes. Haha. I trust God and I knew he's going to take care of me. I don't want to think about how long I might be trapped there because I know it will make me panic. I really tried hard not to panic. I even checked myself if I'm breathing properly. (laughs!) I don't want to panic with that too because I don't want to be suffocated just because I am thinking that I can't breath...you know, psychological effect. The brain can really grant your wishes sometimes. hehe.
But then I prayed while knocking on the door of the elevator and shouted for help. And to my relief, someone shouted "sandali lang". I waited a few more minutes when the door opened. My saviors! Manong guard and the building engineer. It was no surprise for me to see that the elevator was stuck between 4th and 5th floor. But I remained calm. It's not like they wished me to be trapped there anyway. So there I was and I'm like: "Kuya! Pano kung mag-on yan? Pano kung dumiretso pababa habang hinihili niyo ko? Di nahati yung katawan ko?!"
Haha! But I know that I'm in good hands and I trust God. Manong guard came down and knelt and then I got out. Hay. I told the engineer to fix the damn elevator. Or wag na lang i-On. Jeesh. I just took the stairs down. I was escorted by Manong guard, I guess its a sign of courtesy (or sympathy? haha.) since he can take the other elevator. They were relieved that I'm not the masungit kind of person. Kung iba siguro, they even got scolded pa. Manong guard said I was lucky coz someone got trapped inside for like 30 minutes. Swerte pa pala ko. Lol. Yeah. I guess so. Thank God. Thank God that there lights were still on. Thank God that the fans were on and I was not suffocated and thank God I was trapped for only 10 minutes.
Let me say, 10 minutes was really like a very long time when you're trapped inside. I heard stories of people trapped inside the elevators and I think it can be horrible. But I never thought and wished it to happen to me or to anyone. And now it's like 1 hour ago but for the first time, I feel my hands and knees (going down our stairs at home) shaking. Trust my system to have a late reaction with stress!
Jeesh. Guess I already let it all out. What did I learn? Of course, the true meaning of "Grace under pressure."=)
Gosh I really miss singing! =( This was taken at our concert, November of last year entitled ChoralwoRx at the Philam Life Theater U.N Ave. together with U.P Medicine Choir featuring U.P Singing Doctors. It was such an honor to sing with these great choral groups. Ang gagaling nila! Ang U.P med I don't know how they manage to practice and join even out of the country choral contests with their med studies. Amazing. And the UP Singing Doctors, you'll see that what they have in common is not only the "M.D." after their last names but love for music as well.
Choral Singing is definitely harder than individual singing. Pero saka ko na lang kayo kwentuhan. Pakinggan niyo na lang.
This video gave me goosebumps first time I heard it on video. Anyways, we really prepared for this concert. It was my first any maybe my last coz I'm not part of the group anymore (alumni na lang.) But I really miss my PGC family. Miss ko na ang mala-anghel nilang mga boses. (I know. Cause sometimes I stop singing and listen for awhile.--pero during jamming lang yun! haha.)
More uploads next time.=)
Sabi ng pinsan ko, "Ang mga taong nagsisimba ang pinaka-judgmental na tao." I agree. Minsan akala kasi nila porke nagsisimba, santo na sila at laging tama ang ginagawa nila and I'm a church-goer myself that's why I don't want to be biased. Ganun lang talaga ata ang tao. Laging may "say" sa iba.
Sabi sa Gospel at Homily nitong Linggo, may 3 uri ng mga Katoliko noon hanggang ngayon: ang mga umaattend sa selebrasyon na hindi tama ang kasuotan (mga napunta sa party na nakapambahay lang.) o ang mga taong nagsisimba na ika nga ni Father ay "physically present but mentally absent", mga taong hindi nagpupunta sa okasyon o ang mga hindi nagsisimba at ang mga taong nakiki-party na tama ang kasuotan o ang mga taong isinasapuso talaga ang pagsisimba.
Ngunit sa aking palagay, hindi lang mahahati sa tatlo ang mga taong nagsisimba, maari mo pa itong hatiin sa mas tiyak na pangkat. Tingnan mo pa! Hinati ko sila sa grupo ayon sa aking obserbasyon.
Description: mga batang babae, karaniwang nasa highschool na ang pinunta lamang sa simbahan ay... (excuse me for the term) "boy-hunting". Nagsisimbang may hawak na suklay o karaniwang makikita na nagtetext. Maya-maya dadami na sila at magkukuwentuhan na lamang. Lagi silang lingon ng lingon at hindi nagcoconcentrate sa misa. Sa madaling salita, sila ang mga taong physically present at mentally absent.
2. Fans ni Father
Description: First cousin o maaring kapatid ng Bratz. Karaniwang high school din at nagpunta lamang sa simbahan para kumuha ng misalet (dahil nandun na ang kopya ng buong misa) at magpapirma sa pari bilang patunay na nagsimba sila (karaniwang requirement ito sa Christian Living) Pero sa kalagitnaan ng misa halatang preoccupied na sila (see Bratz).
3. Ang "Da Boys"
Description: male counterpart ng Bratz. Maaring naglalangis o matigas dahil sa sandamukal na hair gel ang buhok, pormang-porma at madalas ay nakapamulsa. Katabi sila ng Bratz at waring nahihiyang pabulong-bulong sa kanila (nakikipag chikahan) before, during and after the mass. Masaya na sila sa ganong life.
4. The Couples
Description: Ang mga mag-jowa na ang tingin sa simbahan ay "Lover's Lane". Paborito nilang part ng misa ang peace be with you at ama namin. Madidistract ang tao sa public display of affection nila. Akala siguro nila, pag nagsimba sila, hindi na sila maghihiwalay--ever!
Description: Madalas lilitaw sa homily. Hindi mo alam kung puyat o narcoleptic lang ba talaga. Sinisisi nilang madalas ang pari sa kaantukang dinaranas nila. (isa na dito si ma, haha! pero in fairness kahit sa loob ng sinehan nakakatulog siya. sa simbahan dahan-dahan ako sa pagkalabit sa kanya kasi high blood siya, baka atakihin sa puso. hehe. pero totoo.)
6. Bilmoko kids
Description: Mga batang nagte-take advantage sa pagsisimba. Minsan nagwawala sa simbahan at ang mga magulang bilang kapalit, binibigyan sila ng bribe na cotton candy, popcorn etc. (oha! sinehan!) Maaring mangyari ito bago, habang o pagkatapos magsimba. (Kabilang naman dito ang kapatid kong bunsong napabayaan sa kusina.)
7. Mga "Takda"
Description: Ang mga matatandang itinakda na ang kanilang buhay sa paglilingkod sa simbahan (na hindi kinakailangang maging celibate o hindi pag-aasawa gaya ng sa mga pari at madre). Nakaputi sila at nakabelo at ang mga lalake naman ay naka-polo barong karaniwan. Kababaihan ang kumukuha ng abono at mga lalake ang katulong sa pagsusubo ng ostiya.
8. Mga Tambay
Description: Mga taong pumapasok ng sandali sa simbahan o napadaan lang. Maaring nagsa-sight-seeing (mga baguhan na nakatok sa simbahan at nagwiwish) at mga nangangailangan ng mabilisang divine intervention (i.e. mga stuyanteng mag-eexam, mga naghahanap ng trabaho). Kahit sandali lang sila, (pwera sa mga nag-sight-seeing) sa tingin ko mula pa rin sa puso ang mga dasal nila. Imagine, maaring nag-novena na sila para makapasa o makahanap ng trabaho pero sumasaglit pa rin sila sa simbahan para humingi ng patnubay. (oo, inaamin kong minsan kasama ako sa kategoryang to. hehe. At oo, madalian man ang dasal, sinisigurado kong mula ito sa puso.)
Description: Kahit sinong makukulit na nagnonovena habang nagmimisa. Minsan naisermon na sa isang homily na hindi ka dapat nagnonovena habang nagmimisa dahil ang misa ay "party" ng Diyos para sa ating lahat. (at oo, aminado ako, sa Baclaran ganito din ako minsan pag gabi na ako dumadating.)
10. True Blooded
Description: Hindi na kailangan ng physical description. Maaring bata, matanda, maputi, maitim etc. Malalaman mo naman agad kung totoo sa puso nila ang ginagawa nila at kung alam nila ang ipinunta nila sa simbahan. Clue: Nakapikit sila madalas magdasal, minsan umiiyak pa.
Maaring sabihin niyong hindi rin ako nakikinig dahil tinitingnan ko sila. Hindi naman. Kapansin-pansin o nagpapapansin lang talaga ang ilan sa kanila. Hindi din naman ako perpekto. Gasgas na pero wala talagang ganon. I''m o goody-two-shoes; nakakasakit din ako ng iba. Pero sinusubukan ko naman ng buong puso ang maging isang mabuting anak ng Diyos. At walang masamang sumubok. Mas masama kung hindi mo sinubukan. Ang akin lang, ayoko namang tumulad sa mga matatanda na kung kaylan tumanda na at konti na lang ang panahon, dun nila malalaman at bibigyan ng pagpapahalaga ang paniniwala o faith nila.
Hindi ko sila kinaiinisan (ang mga negative sa taas) dahil alam ko maiintindihan din nila. I can't point a finger to anyone because I know it's pointing at me, too. Minsan isa rin ako sa mga yan. Halimbawa sa the couples, pero isang beses lang iyon at hindi sinasadya. At pinangako kong hindi na ulit ako magsasama ng boyfriend sa simbaha unless sigurado akong "siya na" at we both value our faith (at nakining kami non, no PDA's promise. hehe.)Pero alam niyo ang pinakakinaiinisan ko sa mga ito? Sila ang mga Sleepers, Brats, Fans ni Father, Da boys at Couples o kahit sinong alam nila sa puso nila na hindi nila napakinggan ang homily at hindi sila nag-coconfess (in their minds) sincerely pero nagtetake pa rin ng holy communion. I mean! Grrr. Yung makikita mong nasa labas lang ng simbahan nakikipagdaldalan, maya-maya pag communion na papasok?! Kapal. I mean, please guys DON'T. It's always better not to have a communion than take it but not wholeheartedly. It's a sacred, sacred thing. At isa pa, ang mga taong pagkalabas ng simbahan, hindi ginagawa ang mga natutunan. Imbis nanlalait lang sila ng ibang hindi nagsisimba pero ang totoo, minsan mas masahol pa sila.
Okay. I have to end this. Naparating ko na ang gusto kong iparating. I just have to end this before you think that I'm a self-righteous, judgemental person. Hehe. I'm not, okay? So kayo, me additions pa ba kayo sa mga categories? =)
First offs, I want to thank those who comments. Really, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Kahit hindi man dito, nagmemessage naman kayo kung mga mga "violent reactions". Hehe. Love you all. At higit sa lahat, salamat at nakikita ko kung sino ang mga tunay na nakakaintindi. Ang mga taong hindi sarado ang kaisipan, may respeto sa opinyon at mga taong harap-harapang magsalita. Malaking bagay para sa akin ang inyong mga opinyon at nirerespeto ko rin yun.=)
Anyway, nagulat ako at nakagawa ako ng...something? (Maybe a poem--erm, I'm not quite sure what it is)
Basta, nagawa ko to ng hindi namamalayan. Isang gabing sinusumpong na naman ako ng ano... Ano... Ewan. Haha!
Someone reminded me, na matagal ko nang hindi nasisilayan ang buwan. To look at the bright side of darkness. Please forgive me if it's a little amateurish and mushy. Ahaha. At papangunahan ko na kayo, hindi po ako broken hearted. I just tried to create this certain situation. Frankly, I've never been in this kind of situation before. =)
Binabantayan kita mula sa dilim ng gabi
Sapagkat takot ka sa kawalan.
Gabi-gabi tayo'y nagkikita,
Habang ang lahat ay nahihimlay.
Nakatitig ka sa akin at iyong isinasalaysay
mga pangarap at buhay.
Isang gabi ika'y nagtapat
paghanga mo sa aking kariktan.
Kahinaan ko nga ba'y minahal mo na?
Anu mang kasiyahan ng kahapon ay napalitan
ng lungkot kinabukasan.
Nang dumaan ka kasama ang tunay mo palang sinisinta.
Tumitig ka sa akin at sinabing, "Mahal ko siya."
Gusto kong lumuha ngunit di ko magawa.
Tila ako'y yari sa bato. Oo, ganun nga.
Ngunit ito'y akin ring tinanggap.
Patuloy pa rin ang ikot ng mundo.
Hinihintay na lamang ang pagsapit ng gabi
upang ika'y masilayan.
Dahil aking batid na damdamin ko'y walang kapalit.
Pagkat umiikot ang mundo at sumisikat ang araw.
At ako, ang BUWAN...
ay dagli namang naglalaho.
Seriously, I stay up really, really late. And I think better at night. My creative juices are flowing. I really don't get it.
Siguro nasanay na rin. Hmm. I may be a night person but I don't like what it do to me. Night time (I think it's the darkness) makes me think. Think of anything. At ayoko mag-isip ng mag-isip, hindi ako makatulog.
I think of random things. Even things that make me feel depressed--senseless things that make me feel depressed. That's why I write. I blog. To let it all out of my system. Gusto ko talagang magsulat but in writing you have to think, and in thinking too much lies my problem. Nakakalungkot mag-isip. Gumagawa ang utak ng mga bagay na dapat mong problemahin kahit hindi naman dapat. Am I even making sense here? To think I really don't have any serious proplems. No family problems not even love life (ha!). Thinking will make me go crazy really. I get depressed.
Depression its feelings of intense sadness, worthlessness, pessimism and reduced emotional well-being afflicts more than 18 million Americans. And I'm not even an American! Jeesh. But the signs are me. I do feel worthless some of the time.
Nah! I don't wanna exaggerate. Maybe it's the hormones. Haha!
Maybe my serotonin and norepinephrine levels are up because I ate something. Hmm. Yep, this is me. Always looking for reasonable explanations for stuffs.
Now tell me, am I actually going crazy?
I watched the last program in ch.7 today, Camera Cafe. It tackled the topic, feminism, well not in a direct kind of way.
Feminism according to Webster is the theory of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes.
In short, women have their equal share of power, prestige and responsibilities.
Back then, women were not aloud to vote. They weren't even given the chance to study because they'll marry anyway, so they were taught instead how to be good wives. Women back then were just listeners and followers--wives and sex slaves.
But now, we have women presidents, businesswomen, engineer and architects. Yes, girl power! And I am proud to be a girl. We are now and always have been, equals.
Yes, back then only men are capable of "womanizing". Now women do that too, there are play girls and sometimes they too womanize (haha!). Women nowadays are guilty of cheating. Yup. Reality bites hard.
In the show the boss was complaining of offering a girl a seat in LRT and in return was shouted because she "can stand." Then someone said that girls must not be pampered...blah-blah-blah.
And then I thought, is feminism killing chivalry? Are women themselves the reason why the species of "gentle-men"--real men, becoming extinct and rare? I don't want to think so. But I think they are! (Read my blog on Pandacan minibus.) Sigh.
But still, I hope they won't be instinct. Because I confess, no matter how independent I look or how I really try to avoid asking help from other people most of the time and sure I don't like the idea of "libre" , I am still flattered when someone pulls a seat for me, opens car doors and any other doors for me and treats me like a princess. (Man! I'm really sucker for a gentleman.lol.)
This is about something I always try not to discuss in my blogs (the love stuff!). But I think its a disease already and it's spreading pretty fast. I read all about it in Paulo Coelho's book, Eleven Minutes , which I think is a very powerful book about sex in the context of love. Very well written by the way. I was alarmed. And I thought I ought to do a little more research about it.
Have you guys ever heard of Sadism and Masochism? These are actually medical terms. The former refers to sexual and/or non-sexual gratification in the infliction of pain or humiliation upon or by another person while the latter is sexual or non-sexual gratification in the infliction of pain or humiliation upon self. Sadists, desire to inflict pain, whether sexual or not. Masochists desire to receive pain. Again, it may or may not be sexual. The simple physiological enjoyment of pain is technically known as algolagnia. Many behaviors such as erotic spanking, tickling and love-bites that many people think of only as "rough" sex also contain elements of sado-masochism. (www.wikipedia.org). That's why we have the term "masokista" and "sadista" in Tagalog. These are actually psychological illness.
Halimbawa, sa mga mag-boyfriend, hindi ko talaga maintindihan kung bakit kahit napakaliit na bagay lang pinag-aawayan nila. Pag-uwi sa bahay ng isa, kung sinong kasama and even each other's ex's. I mean, they won't fight if they won't talk about it. Meron akong mga kakilala, they constantly include his ex-girlfriend in their conversation and so, they always fight. I mean, darn it! Masarap ba makipag-away? Why will you even open a topic you know you will eventually fight about. Is it okay to flaunt one's insecurity?! I really don't get them. Away ng away, hindi naman naghihiwalay. Okay, they love each other, blah-blah-blah but hello, they fight all the time about ONE THING. (Sabi nga ng aking kaibigan, "Paulit-ulit, NAKAKA-BOBO!") Or maybe they are. Bakit gusto nilang paulit-ulit pag-usapan ang bagay na makakasakit sa kanila? Are they bored or their relationship? They need to put a little spice, is that it? Just for that? Hell , yeah it's part of life. But can't they accept that when something doesn't go wrong, that's just the way it is. They have to be thankful but instead they're like looking for a hole in their happiness. It's like they're questioning why they're happy. Wala namang problema kung hindi ka gagawa diba? We can be happy. If we are, we deserve it and that's just the way it is.
Isa pa, bakit may mga taong pinipiling maging emo? I mean, life is good. Great actually if we can only see God's blessings. Well, okay. Maybe life is boring without problems. We work so hard, organize everything to make our lives happy but still aminin natin, minsan, tayo ang gumagawa ng sarili nating mga problema.
We always say we don't want to get hurt and hurt other people as well. But we do it unconsciously, you know, hurt ourselves and others. Especially the people who are dear to us. Maybe it's really a part of human nature. To hurt and get hurt. Is it? Because I can't bear to think that someone is happy and joyful inflicting pain upon himself and upon others.
In sadomasochism, saying sorry won't work because if you say sorry, you have to mean it and you really don't intend to hurt someone. And I personally don't accept meaningless apologies. In those cases, I forgive but don't forget.
But anyway, I just wish we guys take conscious effort to control our actions not only to other people but to ourselves as well. It is never good to inflict pain. Every ethical books tell you that. If you're happy right now, maybe you deserve it. Enjoy the moment. We all have our time to shine. =)
(Ten-tenen-nen!) CHOCOLATES! Yep. Love 'em. It really makes me feel good. 'Coz you see, I got the sweet tooth from my dad (and he's a diabetic!). Naman diba? That's why I try my best not to give in to stress, kasi tataba ako! haha! ;p
Anyway I've research a couple of info about these yummy treats:
- They were disovered by Christopher Colombus in 1502 in the Carribean Island of Guanaja. Aztecs from the island offered him cocoa beans in exhange for trade goods. (www.neuhaus-chocolates.com)
- Its scientific name is Theobroma cacao.
* Caffeine, which increases resistance to fatigue, intellectual activity, and watchfulness.
* Phenylethylamine, which is the chemical released in our bodies when we fall in love and is chemically similar to amphetamines, therefore acting as a psycho-stimulant. (now we know why suitors give chocolates to girls! there's a *medical* history pala!Ü)
* Tryptophan, an essential amino acid that increases the production of serotonin, an anti-depressant and natural stress-reducer. In fact, a decrease in serotonin levels in the brain may trigger cravings for starches, sweet foods and chocolate. (see? anti-stress!)
* Endorphins, natural opiates that are released by the brain in increased amounts when eating chocolate, thereby elevating one's mood and reducing pain.<--emotional hehe.="" pain="" span="">--emotional>
* Phenols,which are also found in red wine, tea, fruits and vegetables, and may help reduce the risk of coronary heart disease.
* Catechins, which are antioxidants that may help protect the body against cardiovascular disease and possibly cancer, are found in substantially higher quantities in chocolate than in black tea.
* Anandamide, which mimics the effects of marijuana by acting on the same brain receptors, resulting in a very mild "high". Plus, chocolate has two ingredients that inhibit the natural breakdown of anandamide and hence may prolong the feeling of well-being. (note: nakaka-"high" lang daw ang chocolate if the intake is like, 350 g.--woah! dami na nun eh! )
So guys, why not take a break sometime and have a Kitkat, ermm, I mean grab your favorite chocolate bar. Sit back, relax, forget all your worries and enjoy that sweet creamy goodness. Bon appetit.=)